Journaling Group

March 29, 2021 at 12:21 pm (Uncategorized)
Tags: Journaling, Questions, Widowhood

I participate in two women’s journaling groups. We meet via Zoom and will continue to do so, I’m sure, until the “All Clear” is sounded by the powers that be. At first, I went along with the switchover to Zoom because virtually meeting beats not meeting. I didn’t have high hopes for what might flow onto the paper, but somehow the energy has made it through the airwaves. One of the things I like about the groups is that we have prompts. I like writing to prompts.

The one I chose the other day was about what urgent questions do I need to ask. This is what came from my pen.

**

The question I don’t dare ask is “What Next” because the Universe is always happy to oblige with an answer to that question, and for the last decade, the answers to “What Next” have been enough to send me running down the street, hands in the air, screaming, like that poor little Vietnamese girl after her village was mistakenly napalmed. So, “What Next” is off my list of urgent questions.

I want to ask, “Why” but my “Whys” are not of a historical or scientific nature. My “Why” questions are usually met with an utterance like, “How many times do I have to tell you, your life is on a need to know basis, and the answer to “Why” is above your paygrade.

“Why” is revealed in retrospect.

I ask “When” and all I get is “When you’re ready”. So, I ask when will I be ready? And the answer is you’ll know you’re ready when it happens. Round and round we go, God and me. (Sighs loudly here and takes another sip of coffee)

“Who?” “Who comes with when,” says the Sage.

So, my only other urgent question is “How”. How am I going to make it through the rest of my days?

Widowhood is not for the faint of heart.